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Feeling Kind of Blu​(​EP​)​: Exiled in My Mind

by Pensive

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1.
maybe one day i can show you maybe one day you can know X2 started out with a dream, i can picture the scene i was just a young kid thinking of schemes my lifes goals ahead, it wasn't accidental that i spoke on everything, never kept it instrumental the path kept changing, every couple years switch life, switch wife switch both of my careers thought i'd play for the bulls, then maybe the lakers like kobe and shaq back when they were my favorite then i moved to the east cost and i couldn't help it fell in love with the sox, patriots and the celtics put my skateboard away, and I switched to the snow i instantly froze when the winter was cold still i kept playing ball, every minute i had indoor, outdoor no limit to that pick up in the summer, mini metro for fall school team, AAU, man i went to it all maybe one day i can show you maybe one day you can know X2 Started out ninth grade in school as the new kid Skipped math one didn't know how to do it Just pretended I knew so I that could get through But i till got an A I was that kind of student and kept playing some ball, point guard on the school team Mostly rode the bench I had given up fools dreams Of making it pro, I was taking it slow Deciding what was next knew my fate would just grow The more that I knew and the better I was rated So I always studied hard for the letters that were graded I still liked to learn  but I was waiting my turn To find the kind of passion that's making you burn With ambition to succeed and desire to start fast Shouldn't have been surprised that it happened in art class the first time I was proud of the work that I made Then I showed it to my teachers didn't hurt that they raved maybe one day i can show you maybe one day you can know X2 Sittin my room looking out at the sunset Thinking bout life and the things i aint done yet I wanna be a rapper and industrial designer I wanna find a girl that I can love without the finer Print about her needyness don't want to sound so greedy it's Simply what I'm looking for, I'd probably like to cook some more and travel round the world a couple times when we book the tour I don't want the fame don't who you think you took me for but I've already traveled and I'm always in the kitchen With a girl that makes me feel like there is nothing that is missing And when I'm not in studio working on designs I'm in the other studio murdering these rhymes Honestly I'm living in the moment I've been waiting for So i think that what comes next is to own it and then take it forward look at whats ahead of me without all of the stress and try not to forget that I'm lucky and im blessed
2.
Letter 02:29
letter in a bottle floating on the lake at night no particular direction, but the pace is right lyrics flowing slowly in the current and the moon hoping there is someone who has heard it and approves when i get in the booth , its like a letter to you i promise to be honest so it better be true it feels good like when your little momma fed you the soup when its cold out always made sure that your sweater is new makes you smile like you're lucky when you're getting some news or waking up on sunday making breakfast for two with some berries in the pancakes, bacon on the stove top sun is shining bright, shorty's naked looking so hot in nothing but some slippers and my crooks and castle tee pouring me some coffee she keeps looking back at me don't know what i would say if i was honest with her is this just a fling will something longer occur? her clothes don't mean a thing theres nothing wrong with the shirt but this is just me thinking lets get on with this verse let me talk a bit about this letter that i'm writing you i mentioned it on do da do, it better be exciting you i said i'd never stop, i'd spend every single night with you and when a problem came, i would weather through the strife with you but then what i remembered was the reason why i entered in this field of hip hop, its the seed that caught my interest it grew into a hobby, after that became a passion and i was thinking probably i won't ever get to cash in but that wasn't the point, i just did it cus i loved it so i didn't really care about when anybody snubbed it i still won't make a promise or prediction about pensive or any other part of life except that its expensive to get your way until the day you're lying in the ground every moment in the deep has no timing its profound so whats it really matter that i'm rhyming all my sounds or whether when we die will be flying in the clouds so whats it really matter that i'm rhyming all my sounds or whether when we die will be flying in the clouds
3.
we take the new mix the old stay faithful, true can't fit the mold can't wait for you our history told so we're breaking through we're breaking through i've been writing sincere since the first day i've been here been weird, breathe a little heavy like theres thin air cus I'm running on these tracks like the ends near and i'm skilled with a pen like i'm Sinclair Lewis gotta do this or its Upton of the same name they're both writers so i'm speaking in the same vein i'm trynna open up like i'm leaking from a main vein bleeding on these beats till i'm heaving and the pains drained but i still really love it so its easier to maintain than to change games, leave and try to gain fame all i wanted in this music was to change lanes blur the lines that are boxing in the main frame Main stream gangrene this river needs a name change i'll be over there sneakers never looking plain jane dressed in all blue its no secret i don't gang bang i'm just another artist who was dancing when the rain came we take the new mix the old stay faithful, true can't fit the mold can't wait for you our history told so we're breaking through we're breaking through break through verse two, take new aim true, words true, name two artists who could do this using only one heart its harder cus this music is just only one part beat knocks hard enough to see spots, tree tops only thing i'm looking down at from my sweet spot let the heat drop, never let it rise past me putting words together with the letters i'm crafty prepared enough fear not scared of what could be up here so much clear air that i can breathe new skies my blue eyes can see behind the clouds views fine as long as you can see above the crowd and even if their loud you'll be free from under shroud on their knees is when they shout "theres no reason for your doubt" but i think that doubt is wise in this ever changing world can't see my future coming so i better stay and learn we take the new mix the old stay faithful, true can't fit the mold can't wait for you our history told so we're breaking through we're breaking through
4.
they ask me what i’m doing they only see in 2 D i say i put my heart and soul in everything that moves me i’m mastering this music though half of it is useless still i put my heart and soul in it until the day i lose it they say your eyes are windows through which to see your soul and mine are flecked with gold, so what’s that meaning hold? they’re probably just mutations deep inside my dna and they’ve got no correlation as to why i see this way but sometimes it makes me wonder why i’ve got that in my denim i mean genes, apologies, sometimes its seems these word i bend them i guess mistakes are just a trait that fate cannot erase but if you face the facts it seems your fate could be erased and rewritten every minute cus no moment is predictable whats missing from my vision is a presence of the mystical the fictional, the magical, i picture it theatrical a stage a way that separates from mixing with the actual perceivable and factual, its just another obstacle between you and the truth of it that makes it so impossible to know what you’re perceiving when you’re seeing through a spectacle like saying you can feel the love beating through your ventricles in your heart, you play the part claiming that you made this art right there from the start no connections and no thought just blood inside you’re muscle now you want this to be bought tell me thats not a hustle never focused on the problem or the puzzle you’re just selfish only play for green like bill russell on the celtics i play because i like to beat the struggle and it helps if my mind is never resting like the buckle on my belt is skinny but my flow is juiced, chugging on some welches trynna show you life is sweet wonder if you felt this? they ask me what i’m doing they only see in 2 D i say i put my heart and soul in everything that moves me i’m mastering this music though half of it is useless still i put my heart and soul in it until the day i lose it X2 can you really lose a heart or does it just degrade i heard that you can fall in fast and love until it breaks i don't know i haven't done it but i wonder what it takes to make you feel as low as if the gutters in your face and what about the soul i can't understand the faith that once i die a part of me's still hovering in space or headed to a destination chosen by another that depending on the stories leaves you frozen cold or sunburned with hateful heat no place for grief when judgement is your method just fear as motivation and a covenant based on guesswork not trynna be the shepherd, but c'mon people lets work to put our minds together like we're always going headfirst don't know if i believe in souls or how i would define it just know that when i care enough i put some thought behind it i say my heart and soul so i can help you understand but really its my pensive mind that makes me who i am helps me know i'm never sure and makes me be a better person so when i look back on my life i know just when its worth it know when i have it perfect so when it starts to worsen i know i can't make changes if never put the work in cus failure could be lurking and plotting when to score or dressed as opportunity and knocking at your door and when it comes inside, you'll be dropping on the floor but not in the position like you're talking to the lord you'll be lying theres no way to know you walk and then you soar no way to know the waters if you're walking on the shore i do know you can't bring a thing that you bought from the store cus even if you pay for it the coffin isn't yours a box to keep your body in like socks are in the drawer cus both are just as lifeless when the clock has run its score so i'll just keep on rocking i don't often wish for more til i give this world my two like the opposite of war
5.
Even if intent is disguised a mans spirit Is transparent, look for his plans you can hear it, uh, look at his hands you stand near it the heart of who he is as a man it stands clear with Just a couple clues like the knuckle wounds of a fighter or supple tools of a tradesman or subtle smooth of a writer But oh shit so quick what a bruise and its brighter A couple hues those knuckles do bring trouble fueling the fire Whose heat will be remembered as the people see the embers Some record the temperature while others seek to enter Politicians gesture while the lawyers spit conjecture telling you the reason why they know whats in the center Artists recreate the flames display them to public Designers seek to use it while dismayed they couldn't touch it soldiers fight with bigger flames but they don't move with hidden aims those who do the chosen few just laugh to them its just a game See hands can be destructive force when guns and swords and fists are used But such a horde is needed when the fucked up lord won't fit the noose they also are creative, bringing order to the chaos showing what we thought was godly sort of like a seance they heal and write, they fold and pray they break and hurt they hold the chains they open wide and close to fists our thoughts and hands are close as this
6.
i really love this music i don't do it for the sake of others when you make it true to you some people really hate to love ya some people really hate to love ya if you wanna ride along just come with me i'll take the rudder it would honestly be harder for me to just make it dumber best that i could do for you is break it down to shapes and colors break it down to shapes and colors class is not in session but my brain is not on break for summer i can’t understand why all these people hate the kid its obvious i’m great at this, these lines i’m always straight with it but they just pointing fingers trynna figure out what shape he is try to change my angle can’t coordinate i break the grid no way that i’m a triangle, i never had a cosign but i flow rhymes like magic on the lakers this is show time cannot be a square cus i’m always thinking out the box time is in my corner i could do this shit around the clock but put that square up to the light, and rotate it enough you’ll see that i am shining like a diamond in the rough man that has a certain ring to it i guess i’ve come full circle a beehives got some sting to it those hexagons can hurt you get your hand up out the honey, you can’t take this thing from me make loops around these other guys like damn its just so funny i am mixing arts like martial man i should be in an octogon but when i see the red ones i don't ever want to stop for long Chorus i really love this music i don't do it for the sake of others when you make it true to you some people really hate to love ya said some people really hate to love ya if you wanna ride along just come with me i'll take the rudder it would honestly be harder for me to just make it dumber best that i could do for you is break it down to shapes and colors break it down to shapes and colors class is not in session but my brain is not on break for summer sip some red or white wine from an clear cup while i write rhymes put some green between the stars that shine all through the night time i'm feeling somewhat blue until i rewind with the blue dream while i sit below the heavens and i see time in a new scene eve klein with a new hue, if your behind what i view through im positive that you knew, that if you want to do you you simply gotta follow through on everything that moves you so what can do da do for you like brown at U.P.S. like brown thats in the maple s-y-r then u-p next that colors what your talking all i hear is you B.S while you try to paint the town red, i'mma paint the sky blue and the grass green, mix forest with an olive and a lime hue you want to find the other side but i will never try to i've got the golden sun without the clouds of gray in my view with an orchard full of apricots and oranges ripe to pick in the middle theres the purple plums and peaches like a pit
7.
Outside the snow falls in a violent blizzard It's a sign of winter but I'm fine to sit in Side and sip a little white wine with dinner As the fire simmers I admire the mixture Slowly Twirl the glass, to check the legs Surely Pour the last, but not the dregs Smell it then you sip you can see the ritual I'm embellishing this liquid but nothing here is fictional drinking Cabernet or maybe Pinot noir I had a bad today but I can see tomorrow everything could change it will be a little better i know the sun will shine i didn't even check the weather Cus there's nothing like a fine wine and you know sometimes You gotta give your mind time to simply unwind sipping on a glass of wine sipping on a glass of wine i love to sip liquor on the rocks but it doesn't top, sipping on a glass of wine sitting passing the time, digging in on what whip up in the kitchen, laughing and dining smiling as the fine drink slides into my stomach and it comes with some fresh mesculin lettuce and beats, i sprinkle in some sesame seeds it all settles in me, dissolves to energy thats sent to my head and to each edge of me i feel alive, like when i pedal my feet on my bike step to a speed where i can lead a life with a glass of wine in the heat of the night happilly rhyming with a glass of wine just happilly rhyming
8.
to my, creative souls, right brained individuals i wish that we could make the rules life change in the physical my art is analytical tight rein on the literal mixed with my emotions which you might say is the spiritual you might say that it imitates the life that we are given but i'd say that it indicates the right way to be living might bring in a renaissance, be part a revolution if so i guess i'll lend my thoughts, the start of evolution was a single deviation from the one that tried before the difference between walls and locks is you can pry the door and open up your thoughts to change, even if its not the same i might be lost and gone insane but i know i still got my brain its always filled with thoughts and dreams never stop the racing my mind is lost in schemes and the top is what i'm chasing but the pinnacle i'm sending for will never have an ending goal my vision can be plenty bold, stretched out like center fold I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place i've been grinding for a minute and i'm trynna find a different road to travel faster cuss my destinations distant but every time i come to a route path or avenue i'm thinking to myself that my youth has to matter too i think that theres a place that you have to travel to the road is missing signs but you have to battle through you have to battle through i think i found a place that you have to travel to I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place i'm positive i have no charge cus like a god i live far from are concept of time i can go on and on with the rhymes, cus my songs all arrive by direct messages from my genius i belong on the record with yeezus and deserve the respect given jesus because i let myself be this, mirror for the rest of you to see it, that which matters most, the specific pattern of your soul, your unique, you have an important part to play, if you haven't thought about the road on which you go start today, don't worry about the journey follow your passions and grow, make art create on your path as you own the space where you flow i've been grinding for a minute and i'm trynna find a different road to travel faster cuss my destinations distant but every time i come to a route path or avenue i'm thinking to myself that my youth has to matter too i think that theres a place that you have to travel to the road is missing signs but you have to battle through you have to battle through i think i found a place that you have to travel to I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place I think that theres a place I hope that theres a place on the path the mastery, practice rapidly, act with passion we ..have half the apathy, laugh at tragedy, dash of blasphemy i'm a mass of gravity, don't fuck with me i wont lack the chastity on the track i have to be working till i die or i craft a masterpiece then switch games and mix lanes and blow that out the water wont fixate that its fate, just know that with some harder effort and direction i could lessen the depression of creativity, when my questions would be mentioned see blu and Ex looked up with their message to the heavens but i'm just looking forward, not in space but in the next one the fourth D the third eye perceives and that is time which forced me to learn why we need that in our minds to remember our mistakes all our failures we have had to grow from its a trait something rare that we can grasp internalize the lessons and I'm sure that you could grow and turn your lives to blessings to the world with what you know
9.
there he stands shaking hands with his fans its the man with the plan, he's got stans who've got stans all because he sits and makes stanzas with style get the people off the stands and go and dance for a while showing half of a smile, but after a while you can tell that when he does it there is laughter inside stoic poet laureate, not worried bout how far he get a surrogate to socialists who swears that he's not sorry yet i'm sorry if i lost you there i just got tossed through lofty air its hard to keep how artists speak from mixing with my dossier i'm never feeling awkward here but often have that problem when i'm talking to a common peer my words are lost forgotten on the beat i'm like auctioneer with speed and with dexterity but when i share my music they just treat me like its charity thats fine i haven't sold a thing don't need you to be there for me my positivity's so strong its seeping in the air we breathe we stand two feet you'll never break us never knock us down these hands, move free you'll never take it never knock it down you'll never break it won't take its not tangible the mental not the animal, a state of mind im planning to be bigger than the bullshit, a minotaur in miniature kids a star at pinnacle, not sinister or cynical I finish all my intervals, i'm ready to be on my way my apple makes a song a day i hope that keeps the doc away cuss honest-lay i'm tired, i keep telling you i'm starting now so far from child, smarter style, not harvard like but stardom bound we both making mosaic but i'm working with a larger tile see the bigger picture that we all can be a part of now we stand two feet you'll never break us never knock us down these hands, move free you'll never take it never knock it down as a child, i frowned as i peeked out at each town and city now i see these sights and sounds were each signs like a browning leaf that life in time will lead to death, and dying is eased by finding the peace within in you, so i dive into the deepest depths of my tiny shining piece of this mighty dream seeking the breadth of possibilities by freeing my next odd soliloquy and by believing each step is test of this gods abilities, blessed when i let things be and i rest i'm often awed that i caught the imagery because i'm not off in the sea sitting and fishing i stand thinking on my grand vision glancing at the sands sitting in my hands, slipping in time and the lands shifting giving me a chance to bring them pan's wisdom, this is one mans mission giving out never a simple sound, singing, they can't bring us, down they can't bring us down,

about

Despite the sound of the album title, this is a project about creativity, happiness and the artistic nature of hip hop's complex language. Part ode to the LA duo Blu & Exile, part self expression of the Pensive Mind that created it, this lyrical exploration is the newest to come out of the Milkhouse Recording studio.

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released January 18, 2014

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